[Tidybuoy]

I am really frustrated and I'm just wondering if i am out of line with how I have dealt with my 16 yr old neice's violent boyfriend.

First, some background:

My 39 year old sister is a disfunctunal, single mother of two. My syster had/has learning disabilities and is a complete mess. To compound problems, my parents have always treated my syster as if she were retarded and protected her, and made all decisions throughout her life (she is 39 and has never had a job, paid a bill, etc). When she was young, she got involved with the wrong croud and ended up having two kids. The father was a druggie, and has been in and out of jail his entire life - he is completely out of the picture and hasn't been around for 15 or more years.

My parents "manage" my sister. This includes buying her a house, paying all bills, doing all thinking, etc.. (it has made the problem worse, over the years). My parents are 79 and are becoming less & less able to deal with the situation - except financial responsibility.


I have known about my neice's boyfriend for about 6 months. The normal MO is my neice is always upset over the recent breakup, etc. Typical 16 year old girl stuff.

I recently found out that my neice got 100% F's in her sophmore year of high school and will have to repeat. (she was a straight A student until 8th grade). NOW, I find out that she also got all F's & one D for her freshmen year. Basically, she is just about to become a high school drop out.

My parents feel helpless. They took away the cell phone a year ago after 22,000 texts in one month and all F's in school. My sister went out and got her a new phone....


Now the Boyfriend:

He goes to a different school; a "continuation" charter school for kids that are screwups.

I previously heard that he had kicked in the front door screen. Ok, not good but a one-time thing, so I had thought.

Now, my mom tells me that my neice is flunking, & the boyfriend has done a bunch of stuff: including kicking in the front door screen, cutting out (with a hunting knife) the screens of the windows, graffitti a gang symbol in the laundry room, stealing the powercord from the tv, and (the worst); pissed in my neices dresser drawer and my sisters car.

I think we've got a very serious problem and I'd love to beat the schit out of this punk - but, I do not intend to go to jail.

So, I showed up at my neices, and photographed all of the damage. I told her that I was going to the police. I also (faked) taking a DNA sample from the dresser drawer & car and put into a zip loc. I told her (while she cried & cried) that I was going to press charges for assault and vandalism. I told her that I was turning over everything to my nephew (different family) that is a cop.

Next, I went on to MySpace and found this punk. It was worse than I was expecting. This kid is bad news and obviously has no supervision. He's a little guy and a gang wantabe.

I sent him a very, very stern message. I demanded that he return the stuff he stole (ie., the power cord to the tv) and I let him know I took DNA samples of his piss in the dresser. I gave him 48 hours and include a picture of his house and told him I'm watching him.

Viewing his MySpace, I found that he has a girlfriend (not my neice). I sent her a message and told her I'm looking for her punk boyfriend and .....same as what I told him.

Next, I made a fake receipt from a DNA Crime lab and sent him a copy - reminding him that I will have the results in 4 weeks and I'm going to file charges. He's got less than 48 hours to return the stuff or his parents will become involved, his school, and the police.

Yes, I made some threats but this guy needs to go away. Then, I need to start dealing with my niece. She needs to be pulled out of her school and ...I;m not sure what, but any school that will let a kid get all F's for two years, is not doing it's job - I do realize that my neice is getting no supervision at home either.

If this punk does not return the stolen stuff within 48 hours, I will follow thru and report this to the police and his parents.

Just wondering what the brain trust on this board think.....