I'm 340 pages into what should be a ~400 page book (don't get excited, it'll only be good for lining bird cages and wrapping fish). In the story, there's a Hispanic drug lord living in the Middle Tennessee area whose death needs to be mentioned. The narrator is aware of future events here only because he's reflecting on the past in order to tell the story . . . there's a name for that . . . the dealer's name is Filip Sanchez Guarchez-Rodriguez but he is known as The Badger.
Anyhow, that kickin' Elvis thread we had inspired me to change the COD to
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Originally Posted by book excerpt
You’ll note that I refer to the man in the past tense . . . this is because he is indeed dead, but not due to some drug deal gone wrong or a fierce turf dispute No, Filip died of blood poisoning. The condition apparently resulted from a ruptured intestine, likley brought to fruition by a diet consisting solely of half-rack cheese burritos. I’d always said the man was full of **** but it turned out that he actually was, to the point of bursting. There was a rumor going around for years after his death that the coroner's report listed The Badger's poop as weighing 35 lbs., which in my book has to be some sort of record.
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Not sure if this is medically accurate, but I think if your poo made its way into your blood it would be kinda like a turd punji stick. Anyhow, I'm looking for embarassing ways to die that aren't too far fetched (I had considered electrification via fence while experimenting with livestock). Remember, this guy was a bad, bad man and so the more embarassing the death the better.
Throw 'em out there. I do appreciate all of your feedback.