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Do U feel guility that if you had called it might have made a difference? Or do U feel that U would like to have said I love you one last time? Or Both?

I personally feel U did the best U could. She knew you loved her...that you cared for her. There is one he11 of a hole where she once stood...in your whole life she was always in your life..and now she is gone. U may think I will give her a call and talk to her, only to realize you can't. At those moments you would like to grab it back, only to realize your only grabbing at air. The first year is the toughest, because you will be thinking only last month....only last Christmas...after the first year the hole starts to fill in as life goes on. Give yourself the time, you will know when to get up off the chair, cause you won't want to be sitting there anymore.