Park in a single space. It sounds like you are NOT a pretentious snob, but everytime I see someone parked taking up more than one space, the concept of a pretentious snob immediately comes to mind.
At my work, a bunch of us park together at the end of a couple of rows. We all drive trucks and SUV's, yet prefer not to have even our lowly (non-Mercedes Benz cars) riddled with door dings. So we protect each other and all is well. No one takes up more than one spot.
Like said before, taking up more than one spot in a parking lot is self-defeating. It draws attention to one's car, which I assume is the exact opposite of what you seek to accomplish. Flying under the radar is the best way to keep your stuff from being messed with.
That note, though a bit pretentious in itself, was a warning to you. It may require you to eat a bit of humble pie, but changing your parking habits may be the best way to deal with that, and any potential future car-related issues. That, and you can always bash in the tail-lights of every American brand car in the parking lot to get your aggressions out.
-Z-man.