[cashflyer]

In the Winter of 1969, an elite force of the US Army was sent on a top secret assignment in Southeast Vietnam. I was a member of that elite force. The mission was considered to be near-suicide. But I killed so many VC that it became an art. I was like Rembrandt; with an M-16 for my brush, the jungle was my canvas, and blood was my paint. It was brutal. I was a one man weapon of mass destruction. Most people will never know that one of the major sticking points in the peace negotiations was me. The NVA even asked the United Nations to make a binding resolution to keep me from destroying them all. I am talking scorched earth. I was seriously fu*king ***** up out there. Eventually, Nixon had to intervene and insist that Abrams bring me back to the states. The Vietnamese were happy, America was happy, I was happy.... everyone was happy except my wife, who expected me to die there. Maybe I should have, but instead of dying I got a medal. A Congressional Medal of Honor. So grab that bottle of scotch, baby, and come on up to my room. Maybe I'll show it to you.