LOL, here's another very funny, very old thread, had me cracking up.
It was started by Tom in 1998, for all I know it was the first thread in the 911 technical forum. It's closed but you can still read it.
PS, might wanna put a drop cloth over your keyboard:
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/porsche-911-technical-forum/28702-hello-everyone.html