[Jagshund]

Last week I found a large lump on (in) my calf. Slightly smaller than an unshelled pecan- for those unfamiliar with the sizes of unshelled nuts, it's probably similar in size to a testicle belonging to a 50 pound dog- and before anyone asks, I'm not about to start posting pictures of body parts here 'cause there's no telling where that would end up.

Rather than following the smart course of action, I've decided to collect as much shinola house advice as possible and tally the results. There was a nurse who opined, but her advice was thrown out as soon as her status was discovered. A pair of disc jockeys stopped by the house and suggested I go see a doctor, but you all probably know how I feel about unsolicited advice from radio personalities; their likely sage advice fell on deaf ears.

I'm tempted to stick something into my calf to see if if drains. However, someone pointed out that this could somehow cause a staph infection . . . and I would just HATE to have an infected staph . . . but I'm willing to do it if someone else can prove they've taken such a course of action under similar circumstances.

For the record, wife voted for me to see a doctor. I have not done such a thing in over 13 years for reasons other than having my spine cut on (a couple of times). Yes, it is sore but not to a point where I'm taking more than the usual amount of narcotics.