[Laneco]

Your children are, for all intent, grown (though they are always your children). Sounds like they are well on the way to being very good, productive people so whereas you are probably not a perfect parent (join the very large club...) apparently you've done most things pretty darn well.

The critical comments from her send up a red flag for me. All parents go through a stage where we look at other parents and compare notes, mostly thinking we come out ahead. I'm hoping she is just at this stage comparing her child rearing with her 11 year old to your young adults, and her "filter" needs a little adjustment.

It's time for the filter adjustment. I'd suggest the nice conversation where you explain that you feel she is being critical which makes you feel that you've done a poor job raising your children. Start out nice, but stand your ground. You've raised good young people, people you love and no one has the right to snipe at that. Particularly someone who is only mid-way through the process themselves. Believe me, every parent thinks they walk on water in the parenting department until the kid becomes a teenager. Then they realized that their smug little perception disappears when the kid climbs out the window in the middle of the night...

I realize you're already considering this, but with her young child still in the picture, the parenting style issue is a deal breaker. Work it out with respect, or walk away and save all three of you a great deal of misery.

angela