Jerry, thank you for this thread.
I'm having the same issue with the lady I've been seeing for the last year, and it's impossible trying to discuss it on an adult level, even in therapy, because of the denials and guilt-trips. This week we had a breakthrough and she was able to admit that she's looking for a daddy to take care of her... but of course that revealed that we are looking for different things in a relationship.
I don't know. Maybe living separately is an option.
edit: On second thought, probably not... 