Nice Job, Bill!
1. Type the info and print out on a piece of paper, don't write with a Sharpie. Better yet, once you get good with your video software, you could make the info show up on the screen as subtitles.
If you think you're going to do a lot of these, make a really simple outline like
a. overview
b. features
c. in use
d. overall
etc., then you can apply the same style to different products and people will understand the way 'you' think better, across products that are seemingly unrelated.
Even farther, make your outline into subtitles and insert it into the video, and try to pace yourself to X amount of minutes or seconds per outline section.
2. Don't tell the 'whole story' if you don't have to. You had two knives, one in the box for your daughter, and one you've been using for a few years,
Instead of telling the 'daughter' story, you could show what 'one in the box' looks like, and then you could give your review of 'the field-tested knife' and how great it's been.
3. If you're the authority in this review of the knife, try to stay away from words like "i think", and "maybe", and "i don't know."
Sorry if that's too much opinion, I just had a glass of wine ohhh yeah.
