[stomachmonkey]

I only watched 2 minutes then scrubbed thru the rest but I'm willing to bet the entire 12 minutes could be done in 2.

Think about your average commercial, it's 30 seconds and packs in more product info detail.

I tell my marketing and sales staff "what are the 3 things that you can tell someone in the 5 seconds that you have their attention?" If you have not hooked them by then they are not sticking around for the rest.

Write your copy and rehearse it, then rehearse it, then rehearse it some more. Time yourself. Set a limit of 5 minutes and work down from there. 1-2 minutes should be your target. Short clips will help build a following.