[jyl]

For god's sake clean your bathroom esp the toilet.

Here's my simple roast chicken. The larding, lemons, and turning keeps the breast meat from getting dry which is the main problem when roasting chicken.
- Separate skin from meat, on the breasts especially but also the thighs, by getting your fingers in there and feeling around. Good practice for later.
- Cut some bacon strips, push them between skin and breast meat, not all crumpled up, lay them sort of flattish.
- With sharp knife tip, cut short slits in skin on back and thighs. Lets fat render out.
- Salt the cavity, then take two lemons, cut into quarters, stick them into the cavity. Or peel the lemons and don't bother quartering. You can stick in some herbs if you want. Lemons are important.
- Pat the chicken dry with paper towels. Sprinkle a little salt on the skin. Pat the skin lightly with flour or conrstarch. This all helps dry the skin.
- Pat chicken dry w/ paper towels. I don't truss it.
- Put chicken in pre-heated 350F oven (temp not really critical), breast side down, over a pan to catch drippings, roast for 30min.
- Turn chicken breast side up, brush breast skin with melted butter, roast for another 30 min or until done, brush with butter a couple more times.
- When chicken is done - I use a thermometer and want 160F in breast and deep in thigh, but the wiggly leg works - remove from oven, crank the broiler, adjust rack to put the chicken about 6" from broiler element. Broil chicken for about 5 min or until breast skin is nicely golden brown and crisp. Don't get distracted, don't walk away, keep the oven door open and watch the broiling the whole time, because golden brown is not far from dark brown then black.
- Remove chicken. Let cool while you make the pan sauce.
- I don't know about carving the bird in front of the lady. I'm not graceful at it, but it could work for some. I usually remove the whole breast half, take off the skin (it will simply lift off, bacon and all), slice the breast, lay the skin flat and slice it to match, then re-assemble.
- The lemon juice bastes and flavours the bird, the bacon shields the breast meat from drying out, the separated and buttered skin dries and browns nicely.

Can you set up a webcam, just for me and vash. We want to see the cooking.