[bivenator]

So my BIL and his wife divorced 3 yrs ago. They have an adopted daughter who is 8 y/o. BIL and ex have kept things pretty amiable. They live near each other and he see his daughter thru the week and on weekends as well. He has a girlfriend and they have gotten pretty serious and will probably marry in the next year or so.
Each of the previous family xmas gatherings since the divorce have been attended by both the Ex and the BIL, as well as her parents. There was some friction evident but they all did pretty well in remaining civil. This year the new GF was in attendence as well.
The BIL and GF were way over the top affectionate IMHO, tonsil hockey at the dining table sorta stuff isn't going to make anyone feel comfortable. Ex wife gets drunk and fortunately doesn't cause too much of a scene and leaves early. Whew.
So the question that lead to the discussion with my wife was, Is it crucial/beneficial for the divorced parents to continue to spend xmas together? Ostensibly this is done for the benefit of the child but neither parent was particularly involved with the girl during the evening. Each had thier own agenda IMHO and the child was subjected to another xmas of having her divorced parents still clinging to the notion that everything can be normal. IMHO this is confusing for the kid.
My divorce 18 years ago was bitter and I would never be caught dead in the same room with my ex and the in-laws at xmas or any other time. Perhaps I am viewing this thru my experience and it has jaded me.
IMHO when the divorce is done, and the parents are seperated then a civil relationship with a true focus of what is in the best interest of the child is needed. Not a dog and pony show.
Thanks for reading.