[g3ngs]

1
Wheel spacers are wrong - many moons ago I had a Wizard Roadster (looks like a Hebmueller) all fibreglassy and lovely, super flared wings, because its only a Beetle underneath, so it requires spacers. Nice sunny day and all ready to go to Santa Pod to abuse it on the 1/4 mile. Thinks to self I really need to go and buy so and so tape (that many moons) ago. Waiting for the shop to open sitting outside whiling the time away, shop opens, buy tape, hop back into the car pull away...... one of the rear spacers gives up, go about 10 feet then the wheel falls off...

By my calculations had I not hung around waiting to buy the tape I would have been on the M1 to Santa Pod, warming the car up.... by driving it with the needle of the end of the dial (love those 90 mpg gauges)

2
Unclezak - bought a "nice" 1971 T from him with a "fresh" engine, and "new" brakes, and "clean" interior.... imported it to the UK.... what I actually got was 1971 T with the new floor I had asked to be put in, a toasted engine, new brakes, that were in but not attached to the car and an interior that you couldn't even ebay..... but it was all OK because he told me that he felt "really bad" about it and wanted to make it up to me...... sadly his version of making it up to me was sodding off the face of the planet

3
Capping fuel lines - on another Beetle it turns out if you cap the fuel line with a twig, and don't disconnect the battery they can actually catch fire..... who would have thought. The joy of having a fire extinguisher to hand was only spoiled slightly by cleaning up powder from every part of the engine

4
Torque wrenches are a good idea - the correct way of attaching the flywheel to a Beetle is with a torque wrench , not a socket with a scaffolding bar on the end of it and tightening the living hell out of it so when you spin the engine up bad things happen inside the bell housing

5
Get some tools - same sodding Beetle, removed the engine with the following tools, 1 x Trolley Jack, Random Bricks and wood, 1 x Leg from Pool Table. The correct procedure here is to jack up the car with your mickey mouse super low lift trolley jack with the leg of pool table balanced on top, prop car up with random stuff you find in the garden, remove and lower engine on crap jack. Wheel engine away, realise you don't have the means to remove the engine from the jack as you need said jack, proceed to pick up engine of jack with all ancillaries still attached damn near crapping myself through the effort of it. Manage it, exhausted I flop on to car which promptly falls of the the garden waste that is holding it up

6
Don't over tighten wheel nuts - due to some sort of mental block I tighten the living hell out of each front wheel's bolt of my son's cadet kart. In principle from all the I didn't tighten the wheel nut stories this is a tip top idea on a car. On the from wheels of a go kart its a bad idea as you compress the sides of the wheel bearings and prevent them from doing their job. Eventually they explode, and the wheel leaves the go kart rapidly. Which his did. Bless his six year old cotton socks, when it happened he was totally unfazed by it, controlled the kart and returned to the pits. When he is older I will give him the full explanation of why and how it happened

7
Be careful when you move things - Motorbike was blocking in trailer for above kart, lots of snow on the ground, wheeling it back, my back comes up against the Santa stop here sign in the garden, not wanting to disturb it (heaven forbid!) I arch my back, as I do this I slip, the bike falls out of my hands and crashes through the mud guard of the trailer. Only pride and mud guard damaged, bike OK and Santa sign in tact

8
Diesel versus Unleaded - A few years ago bought nice new Volvo XC90, diesel, its 22 of December, no one's buying cars at this time, I've gone up North, and I've done a good deal. I promptly fill it up with unleaded, why - who knows - my last three cars were all diesel. Its now late, the RAC can't do anything, a local mechanic can't do anything - damn those anti tamper, plastic tanks with no drain plugs, concealed either side of the prop shaft. The towel has been thrown in, a flat bed has arrived to take me the 400 miles home...... but half a mo' a chap with a Range Rover at the opposite pump enquires what the problem is, I explain, he says aha in a cunning plan kind of way and in a jiffy, he and the tow truck have my car on the flatbed half on half off, they've located the fuel pump, loosened the bottom nut of it and by turning the ignition slightly on the fuel pump cycles and a thimble of unleaded drains out. Over the next three hours, 80 litres of premium unleaded falls on to the flatbed. Arrive home at 8am the next morning.

I think that's more than enough for now....

Oh and when you over pressurise your waxoyl container sometimes it can explode all over you..... I've found its a pig to wash off