[TechnoViking]

I am a divorced father of two young kids adopted from Korea.

I get along great with the ex, but let's not get carried away here. There is absolutely no need whatsoever to have a joint Christmas with all the family from both sides to show the kids they have a family that isn't going to leave them. That's more like a charade, and the kids are smart enough to tell something is not right.

We alternate all major holidays and she does Christmas eve, and I do Christmas day. The kids know they have two happy parents and there is no weird drama during the holidays.

The only exception we make is for the kids' birthdays. We do parties with all their friends from daycare/school, mom and dad, and grandparents if they want to come. The parties are on neutral ground (like a kids play place), during the day (no drinking) and they have a set start and stop time.

We all get along fine but, then again, we are conscious to set up an environment where it's easy to get along. As opposed to setting up a drunk-fest where it's a matter of time before all hell breaks lose.

And the macking with the GF at dinner is trailer-trash behavior BTW, kids or no kids. Time to be an adult.