I too am in the process of coping with this. I look at my dad and sometimes wonder where the man who taught me to enjoy cars - both driving and working on them and the use of power tools has gone. He encouraged all of us to keep working towards anything we wanted to achieve regardless of gender. Now I feel like I am working with an 82yo toddler at times.
Dad is a WWII vet and so we have resources available to us at the VA. Just had a neuropsych eval yesterday where the doc said probably Alzheimers rather than the vascular dementia they had called it 18mo ago. Will be enrolling him into Memory Clinic for closer monitoring and support services. Seek out private sector services in the same vein.
Definitely look into senior living communities. We got dad on a waiting list for one 5 blocks from my house 2 years ago and just moved him in last April. The one we chose has multiple levels of service from a condo complex, independent living apts, assisted living apts and a memory care unit. He's in an assisted living apt w/ weekly housekeeping and 2 meeals a day. Lots of activities are on the calendar and since it is in a community where he has been very involved with Am. Legion and Masons there are several people he knows living in apts there. We looked at several in the area and some of them felt like old people warehouses. By having him there I know that there is help available if I or one of my sibs cannot get to him immediately. It also allows us to do things with him on weekends rather than cleaning his house, doing laundry and cooking.
Routine is definitely very important. My sister and I took Dad on a driving vacation this past summer stopping at multiple museums which he enjoyed but getting him back into a settled routine when we got back was horrid.
A short attention span is only getting worse. He broke his glasses last week and while they are fixed them for now I refracted him yesterday and he couldn't tell me if one or two was better even when it was a big difference. I just had him read the line each time and picked the one he read best with. He eventually got to 20/25. This really emphasized how much he has declined as he previously never waffled in his choices.
I also recommend you get a FMLA (family medical leave) paper signed by the doctor for each person who is likely to help get your family member to appointments. This helps protect you at work regarding attendance. Needs to filled out each year and resubmitted. Here is the online form:
http://www.dol.gov/whd/forms/WH-380-F.pdf
Good luck
