[imcarthur]

I am writing this from my lovely hotel room in the scenic city of Anaheim - across the street from Mouseland & 2 blocks from the Anaheim CC - the Mecca of the music biz: The NAMM Show. This is my 1st visit to NAMM – usually I am found only at the playback stage of the entertainment industry (in Consumer Electronics) but over the last 3 years I have been creeping into the Pro side of the business. To fill the void in between visitations to our booths, I observed the attendees swirling around the display booths. It became obvious that while musicians maintain a rebellious artistic attitude, visually they all were very recognizable. To be a proper musician – or a wannabe musician – you have to wear the uniform.

So to help the new initiates, I thought that I would help.

Look down this list & if you recognize yourself with these visual attributes, than you have real potential to be a proper musician.

You must:

Have long hair. Long stringy seemingly unwashed hair is better but a lush mane or dead straight locks are fine too. Ponytails are great for that controlled look.

Have dyed hair. Here your only restriction is your imagination or daring. Blue, red, yellow, orange, jet black, white or any combo . . . go ahead, go crazy. Extra points if you spike it or shave random parts of your head. The best examples are Mohawk or pointy Mohawk styles. A rainbowed side-to-side 2’ spiked Mohawk is the ultimate expression, although random or patterned spikes erupting from an otherwise shaved head is also a bonus.

If you are cursed with short hair or you are in transition as it grows out, you must plastered it down strangely or dye portions. Shaping it in plastered down spike-like patterns is allowable.

If your hair is grey and/or you are balding, than you can still wear it as above, but you will obviously mark yourself as a geriatric (aka veteran) musician.

Headgear. Now headgear is a personal decision but there are guidelines. Fedoras rule. Turned up. Turned down. Sides only up or sides only down. Be creative. Any color or material works. Toques work if you are young. Big or small, either all-head types or back of head varieties. Pillbox-style or plain baseball caps are also fine. Berets also are allowed & can be worn in any way as above – although the backward style seems to be the most popular. The many variations of cowboy hats are OK but you better think about moving to Nashville. Headbands can work as well or other attachments that constraint your mane.

Facial hair. Once again, the options here abound. Mustaches in any shape of size are allowed. Handlebar, waxed handlebar, Hitler patches (above or below the mouth), Fu Manchu’s – you get the point. ZZ Top beards, scruffy beards with patches, complete dyes or dyed patches are all fine.

Clothing. Once again, follow your creative side. All black is a standard. Leather is standard but realize that leather pants or shorts only really work on hot girls. Vests are cool, but Australian bush coats can only be worn once you have made it & people won’t laugh. Tees rule, but tour Tees are forbidden unless you actually were a roadie or performer ON the tour.

Other accessories. Studs & piercings are wonderful. Earrings in any number shape or size. Ear plugs – yeah just like the African tribesmen are growing in popularity. Bullet belts or the fake glam chrome imitations. Chains big & small – either dangling or pulled tight.

Footwear is another important area of expression but Keds or cowboy boots dominate here so stick with the winners.

Well. I must go off to prepare for another day of aural assault . . . I will report more as I see it . . .

Ian