Excellent advice below, really well put.
I've dealt with this with one of my best friend's...different guy, different circumstance but he was
adrift when he had never been before.
Try and show him a way out of his condition, don't push him...it all starts when he sees it, which my friend hasn't, just quite yet. He will.
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Originally Posted by sm70911
It sounds like this guy has a cyclical depression coupled with a terrible lack of self esteem currently. A kick in the ass needs to be very gentle but also firm in the sense that he is not alone.
This sounds odd but part of the problem is a lack of physical exercise coupled with a deeply diminished sense of personal achievement. This can happen very easily when you fall into the kind of cyclical depression he is experiencing. One bad event will seem to the sufferer to just fall on top of another.
This is a serious condition prescribed medication can help but he must begin to work through mentally and physically and reset his focus which is set to a very self conscious spiraling negative. Intensive one on one therapy coupled with a physical activity: Basic Yoga class is ideal because it is non judgemental and can build inner strength without the body conscious or competitive aspect of some gym classes. Can you go with him ? If not Yoga swimming, biking ? running ? but something challenging which will build core strength. he may well need a support buddy for this.
If and its a big if, he can commit then he needs to replace the negative areas with more positive ones. Can he create something ? Can he attend classes be they visual, or based around writing, or more technical activities where he interacts with more people instead of hiding in the house ? If he can do small little things which become a palpable series of victories it will help him re build his broken self esteem.
The long term answer is therapy where he can express himself and the will to want to change.
Good luck
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