Years ago a guy who was dating my sister found out I often went "Commando". (I'm ex Army)
He said;
"But don't you get skid marks on your jeans???"
I said;
"Never"
He said;
"Why not?"
I said;
"Because I wipe my asse". 
Incidentally... Marilyn Monroe was one of the best come back artists of all time.
Apparently she was very quick witted and clever.
Once the word got out, no reporter ever messed with her.
