I think you may be on a wild goose chase with this.
I spent many years in my youth "experimenting"
with satellite stuff.
That you have not found anything after a lot of searching says there is either little interest in your type of setup or it's just not feasible.
Let's start with the Direct TV DVR. Direct TV is satellite, it's unidirectional, can't communicate back out thru the dish hence the phone line/ethernet connection. It's so you can order PPV and other stuff from the DVR.
So you have it running ethernet, it's a communication device, it's on your network so yeah it'll likely show up but that does not mean you can interact or control it that way.
These DVR's typically have USB/Firewire ports as well but those ports are almost always disabled or have their functions limited by the service provider.
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The TV actually shows a connection to the WMP server, but it says "there are no files in the folders", meaning that there are no songs, pictures or videos in whatever folders that the DVR is looking at on my laptop.
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How did you set up the DVR to connect to your Laptop? Are you positive it's actually seeing your laptop? Does it say "Connected to JA's laptop"?
Really much more info on what you have done and the steps you took to get there are needed.
My gut tells me it's not going to work but I've been wrong before.