[Evans, Marv]

I'm with those who have expressed admiration for those who have/have had good relationships with their parents and wish they could have had that with their parents. My father died in '91, and my mother passed last September. I loved them only for being the parents who brought me into this world. They were selfish, self-centered, distant, prejudiced, uneducated, jealous of those who had more, and devalued their kids (a term expressed by my sister one time when I was trying to find an expression for it) up to the end. I was filled with anxiety and rage at them for years, because of the way they were, though they did set an example of what I didn't want to be like. In my late thirties, I finally let it go by truly realizing they were only people, as all people, who had their strong points and weak points. I realized I couldn't expect them to be more than they were or become what I wanted them to be, and I had to accept them as the people they were. After realizing that, I was able to let go of much of the disappointment and anxiety. You who have loving, interactive, and enjoyable relationships with your parents, enjoy it to the fullest.