[Schumi]

The tiger reminds me of a story. There is a lesson at the end of it.


Once in high school I went to a event at the local elementary school where there was some PTA/fundraiser event happening with a lot of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders. The high school's student council and senior group were helping with the event. There was a full size, real Smokey the Bear costume that some guy was wearing and the kids were taking pictures with him, and he walked around saying things like "Don't start forest fires" and other obvious dribble.

I was class president at the time, so I did the only thing that a high school Mike would do: I got drunk, put on the bear suit, and ran around the gymnasium in a bear suit acting like an idiot. I was the center of attention and it was wonderful.

Unfortunately the suit was very, very hot inside and I began to become overly intoxicated (there was lots of room in the tummy and I could take out of my arms into the suit and drink from a flask inside the suit). Eventually a small kid ran in front of me that I couldn't see through the 1" meshed smiling mouth of the bear, and I tripped.

I gracefully got out of the way of the child on my way down, and then hit the floor. The giant, top-heavy bear head flew off, leaving my sweaty ass head exposed. Children erupted in screams. They must have been terrified. Two friends hurriedly rushed to pick me up, slammed the head back on, and then pushed me down the hall into the teacher's lounge before any of the administrators saw me. Amongst all this scurrying, I puked in the suit.

After getting the smelly, hot, nasty puke filled suit off, I sat in my track shorts on the table in the lounge, dehydrated, sick, and on the verge of passing out. The elementary school teacher came in as the night had ended, and I thought I was in some deep %#$*. She shook everyone's hands and thanked us over and over for our wonderful volunteering, and left saying how she was going to be sure to let our faculty advisor and principle know how much of a service we performed.


So the moral of the story is....


.. I forget now, but it'd be fun to own a bear suit.