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Sorry man, that sucks. Try not to beat yourself up too much over the next few weeks, been there done that.
Unfortunately this job is one that is marked by lots of stress, lots of ups and downs. I have come close to hanging up the stethoscope a couple times myself. I guess I just try to remember the good patients and the great saves I have been a part of and learn from the poor outcomes. Sounds like arrhythmia but who knows. It was just his time. Remember, you did not give him the disease, you were just trying to help him through it. Most of the time, the disease eventually wins.
I ran into a patient at the gym yesterday, he was admitted to me over an entire month with the worst case of alcohol withdrawal I have ever seen. The guy couldn't even walk for two weeks. He was very confused and I was pessimistic he would ever regain normal mentation. He finally went to an inpatient rehab hospital and 6 months later he is sober, running on a treadmill three times a week and enjoying life. Those are the ones that keep you coming back. Every time he sees me he comes up and shakes my hand.
Remember those.
__________________
Rick
1984 911 coupe
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