[ODDJOB UNO]

i can BLAME IT ALL on my parents/my insane scoutmaster/ and THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA!



spent a hell of alot of my youth in the 1/2 horsey town of pinetop,az. not alot to do except hunt fish camp.


i have used 1/2 azzd gear and regretted every damn moment when it has failed. ya get what ya pay for. saw alot of crap go down in the grande canon(grand canyon) and the superstition wilderness. broken legs/ankles mainly. and you aint lived until ya gotta get someone out of that big azz hole in the ground w/a broken leg or ankle.


then throw in dirty bikes/quads/off road race vehicles and its a non stop cluster of accidents.


a good two incidents to mention:


1) riding the countryside high and wide over the 14 eeners in colorado. buddy hits water diverter berm on his yamm-a-ha, does a high speed header and breaks leg...........BAD! have pics of this stunt. now it wasnt a compound fracture but he busted both bones in his right leg and his mx boot held it together. along with a roll of duck(quack) tape and an hour sitting there listening to him moan and groan we started his bike for him and he sucked it up and rode down to telluride, and then in my surburban to the hospital.



2) our outlaw dirty biker club SUN MC decided to have a festivus in june one summer up in the bradshaw mtns. did our due dilligence and rented the group campground in horsethief basin. pine trees oaks water campsites blah blah.


since this was one ser-i-ass ride we opted for the BUDDY SYSTEM and a TECH of all bikes prior to taking off at o-dark thirty. had around 80 guys. all the wifeys and g/friends drove up with fuel booze food in the crash trucks on the forest service road. had people staged with crash trucks and fuel over a good portion of the mtn.


prior to launch we sent everyone a list of crap to bring and not bring. to the nats ass survival/spare parts list. spare gas in prestone bottles in backpacks.



so we take off in a cloud of dust with 4 strokes and 2 strokes. about 2 hrs in headed uphill on the trail, im on my 85 XR-350RF from hell, a friend of ours from garrett goes wailing by us like we were standing still on his KTM 495 from hell and.................you guessed it................hit a water diverter(dirt berm) wrong and launched into low lunar orbit and did a mega header at mega warp speed and compound fractured his leg.



and when i say BLOOD.................i mean the BLOOD was spilling out of his BOOT!



we are now MEGA MEGA FEEKED ROYALLY!



thank god we had our rezident nutcase dr. with us. we cut his boot open, applied tournaquit, splinted the leg with a palo verde branch, duck(quack) taped the boot back together along with the palo verde branch, and started searching for ANYBODY! now we had calculated our fuel to the nats azz and we were scrimping on fuel. so us 4 strokes(better mileage) starting combing the bradshaws for anyone with a vehicle. finally after an hour or so found 2 ol boys in a jeep. they opted to help. actually at this point due to the DIRE CIRCUMSTANCES of our friends health, we were FULLY COMMITTED to hijacking their vehicle had they decided not to help us, if ya catch my drift.


when we got back with the jeep, we lifted him into the back for the long bumpy ride down the senator highway(dirt road) into prescott, he was WHITE AS A SHEET FROM BLOOD LOSS!


you talk about a major BUZZKILL on that trip. well to make a long story short, they left the wound open for a week, then did surgery and added some plates, and he didnt make it back to work at garrett for 6 months.



so as i said before. being cheap, being a 1/2 azz, being an airhead, being a moron, can get ya killed real fast and real dead faster than ya can spit off road.


i cant emphasize the importance of being prepared, having quality gear, watching the 10 day weather forecast. sweat the small and big stuff and everything else comes easy.



or the story about my friend ripping across the dezert on his dirty bike and catching some barbed wire with his neck! yeah once again.................more fun than we can stand. he did live , but had a scar for the rest of his life, just like clint eastwood in hang 'em high!