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Originally Posted by Aurel
We can always find better or worse situations than ours, and what really matters is not the situation itself but how we deal with it, the journey it takes us through.
Interestingly though, I have noticed that we usually receive challenges that push our limits just enough that we can go through them, as if there was a predetermined set of challenges required for our growth.
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You are not being shot at, on your third deployment in five years and you control your destiny. Focus on the gifts life has bestowed, on you and your family. Tell them just how lucky, really, you all are.
I was gone most of the first five years of my marriage, then much of my kid's first ten years. My wife and I were first and foremost a solid front: We made the decisions and we we stupid enough to make it work.
The kids: I would sit them down, and they were very young, and talk to them about what WE were going to do, how much WE had to do. Dad had things to do, but SO DID THEY. Set expectations, involve them, never falter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MFAFF
Tough choices to make...Its great that you have the choices to make and are keen to find out what others think.
Might I suggest a different approach...It's a challenge for certain and one approach is to welcome it for the potential it brings..and acknowledge the cost to us and others.
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If you acknowledge the cost, then focus on the benefits as well, welcome them as MFAFF wrote. That is key.
The best family memories are made out of these days, Aurel. You and your wife get to choose.
When my father was deployed to fight, I was eight. He sent reel to reels, letters, photographs and, trinkets.
Just do the modern version of that and you'll be fine: They know you're gone, but what they most want to know is that you care about them.