Quote:
Originally Posted by McLovin
... give it some time.
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HHI944 - this is critical for you in this or any relationship you care to venture into. I would offer this advise to you even if you were talking about a 26 year old lady, not a 40+ year old. Or, if you were both 50+ years old.
Remember the stepping stones? It can be very dangerous to go from close friends / casual dating straight to marriage: you skip two steps in there -- steady dating AND engagement period.
To keep it simple, consider the two options and the two outcomes for each:
Option 1- you take the time to date steadily, get engaged and...
Outcome 1: you take a year or so to date, get engaged, and get married, and live happily ever after.
Benefit: you don't rush into a decision, you have time to plan things out and you understand each other better before getting married.
Outcome 2: you take a year or so to date, get engaged, but somewhere along the timeline, the marriage is called off.
Benefit: you take the time to find out more about each other, and after realizing there are differences that cannot be worked out, you go your separate ways -- having lost only a year or so, but having learned alot during the process.
Option 2: you throw caution to the wind, and get married right away.
Outcome 3: You live happily ever after.
Benefit: you are in a committed married relationship sooner than later.
Outcome 4: 3-4 years down the road, one or both of you feel stagnant in the relationship and want out, eventually getting a divorce.
Drawback: you rushed into a marraige which will be dififcult to get out of, and the breakup is more bitter and costly than any other option.
If you play the odds, you'll see that Option 1 is a safer bet...
Food for thought.
-Z-man.
PS: Have you talked about this with your lady? Is she aware of your intentions? Do you know how she would answer if you popped the question upon her now?