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Unfortunately I have found in this case there is no correct answer. I just try to be wrong as little as possible.
I have found that the "Bar tender therapist" mentality worked best for me. No this does not mean go drink the problem away! It means act like a bar tender; Let them BOTH know you are there for them and Listen 99% of the time and have an opinion 1% of the time (and generally I keep that opinion to myself).
Sort of reminds me of the saying "there are two ways to argue with a woman; neither one works"
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