[ramonesfreak]

im not scarred of death. what worries me is the process. lifelong smoker..i know how things are likely going to turn out. painful and tortuous.

i tend to worry and fear very specific modes of dealth, like....airplane falls out of sky, a shark eats me, i wipe out on motorcycle, i gasp for breath with cancer, i have a heart attack while mowing the lawn...

actually being dead doesnt concern me. i suspect the experience will be much like a dreamless sleep, and i have already had such an eventful life that i could go tomorrow and be satisfied that i did more than most people ever will

lately, i have begun worrying about dying alone. i have no interest in getting married and no longer care to be in a long term relationship. so, there is the possibility that i will die someday sitting in front of the television like charlie parker, except i will be alone and not found for weeks...... for some reason, this disturbs me alot. and im only 39 so perhaps i should seek help :-)