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A general answer:
A properly fitted rifle/shotgun recoils much less, or gives the impression of less recoil. Technique plays a large part as well. Much of the pain of recoil is caused by long stocks. Most factory stock are too long for the general population. Then there's the fine art of measuring for the drop of the comb, etc. That's why fine large caliber rifles fitted to a shooter/hunter costs, just like tailored suits.
As to hand guns, same goes. A properly fitted pistol to your hand as well as proper technique will give the perception of less recoil.
Heavier spoons recoil less, because there is more mass to recoil against. I'm not a fan of ports, as it introduces other issues (blast, noise).
Depends on what you're looking for exactly but the answers to your questions is a function of what you are trying to shoot/do.
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