.357 is as much as I like to shoot in a handgun for fun. I'll shoot a .44 and not flinch, but anything beyond that, count me out.
I like shooting my .30-06. Makes the proper crack a rifle should.
I don't know what you mean by 'cheating' honestly. Shoot so your comfortable. A 300lbs guy thats 6'6" and a guy thats 5'2" 130lbs are going to have different levels of comfort with recoil. That has no bearing on effectiveness. Thats the benefit of firearms over swords
A prepared man with a .32 will kill a fool with a .45 every time.