[RANDY P]

Originally Posted by Loomis

My wife used to have a pretty close relationship with her brother and his wife. However, over the years while we were having kids, they became more and more obsessed with travel, wine, and luxury. They thought of themselves as gourmands; I thought of them as gluttons.

Eventually and as I predicted, brother lost his high paying job. That didn't stop him and wife from multiple trips to Italy and France, or from downing several $25 bottles of wine a night. Regular communication between my wife and her brother and sister in law became sporadic. Finally, bro in law drunk dials my wife late at night to tell her he needs money to pay his mortgage. I called back the next day and said (in so many words) there's no way I would lend money to a couple of free-spending alcoholics. And what happened to your savings? That ended that.

Wife's oldest brother has also been shut out since he told the other bro to get help with alcoholism. The guy doesn't think he's an alcoholic, just believes he leads a high life. Lots of unearned snobbery here.

Now we just learned through Internet snooping that sis in law's brother died. Ordinarily, this would be big news and what remains of the families (early deaths of wife and sis in law's parents) would come together. My wife is beside herself, as this used to be a close knit family. From what we can gather, they haven't lost their house, but we don't know much else.

I think the guy might be really embarrassed, as he went to one of the most expensive private colleges in the country, has never had to struggle, and thinks his poo doesn't stink. Still, you would think reality would set in at some point and they would realize that family is all they have.

Wife has tried to contact some of their friends, but they also have a lot of problems and haven't responded. What would you do? Fly down and knock on their door? Wait until they contact you (wife doubts that will ever happen)? Write them off?

Give it one honest shot to see what is going on- if they refuse, well you tried. You need to give them that at least....

rjp