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I have helped a lot of people over the years, and it always amazes me how quickly they can find other help once I stop. People pretty much are who they are, and generally they only change because what they are doing no longer works for them.
Debtors Anonymous is a program for chronic under earners. Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for a day. Teach a man how to gather wood, and he will warm himself. But if you keep making fires for your friends, you may eventually burn out the relationship.
Lend her or give her the money. If you want to find out what kind of friend you really are, let her move in. But really, in the long run, these are only short term solutions. The problem has been the same ever since you have known your friend, and it isn't you.
I hope that wasn't too harsh.
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