[svandamme]

I've been out in the dumps , money doesn't fix anything by itself, you still sit there in the dumps feeling like a charity case... Even if those who give it, mean well it's bad for mental state.

A room, if the person is not a total meth or smack head, will probably do more good, because it make that person feel welcome in a warm house.. To be included in a healthy household, and it's routine is priceless.


But i would have a sit down first, don't simply open your door and let her move in.
agree to some kind of schedule..And rules..
You do not want the problems in your house, you want her in your house, away from her problems. That's the basic concept.

And the timeline, agree to it up front, but expect that you may need to extend it ... That's not a problem if it has to be done, but by locking it down up front you have your way out if she does not cooperate or does her part of the deal.



crude example
Week 1 - 2 , Rest, aclimatiasation

Week 2 - 4 , Get paper work in order, assess financials, state of affairs, from this point onwards you are expected to help with the house hold

2nd month, systematic job hunting

3rd month, hopefully work or good prospects ( if not, more systematic job hunting) and looking for affordable housing



Something like that, Now it may not be what she hoped for, she may resist or call you an ******* as mentioned above..
But You have to call the shots, and draw the line.

You cannot help if she does not cooperate.
And you cannot win by enabling bad behaviour.

I had a problem friend too.. and she attracted problems like a super magnet.
At one point hooked up with some guy, and within weeks was talking marriage.

at that point i flat out told her she was bad **** crazy if she did that.
And that i wanted nothing to do with her ever again because i was tired of feeling bad for her.

Sadly she was murdered by her husband 3 years later..He was a psychotic, mental patient , he snapped and beat her to death.

I can't say i was surprised, she was the problem magnet.. She'de never listen to good advice if provided with it. I did not feel guilty about it, i can't blame myself for her refusal to listen to my or other people's advice.