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jluetjen jluetjen is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Westford, MA USA
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Originally Posted by Dottore View Post
Yes.

Strange you should mention this, but I have personally observed a similar phenomenon in the deaths of various friends and relatives. The ones with the really deep faith fell apart at the end—while the ones without faith were relatively sanguine.

My experience is anecdotal—and I wasn't aware of the studies—but it has always puzzled me.
My experience has been the exact opposite.

Death is a traumatic experience no matter what the religious inclination because it is personally unknown. We may have sat with people who have died, but that is very different from going through it in the first person sense. As a result when it is finally our turn, it can be scary. But in that regards it's not much different than passing through other stages in life like marriage, medical treatments and other things. Until we experience something first hand, it's difficult for people not to be nervous about it. The thing about death is that most people don't have the opportunity to go through the process twice.

Going back to the point of thread, I have to agree with heel-n-toe -- I think that it's the loss that drives grieving. Whether we believe that the person has gone to Heaven, or just stopped -- either way that person is no longer around to provide the experiences that we enjoyed from, and with them previously. In that regards it most likely is similar to withdrawal. But I don't subscribe to the belief that personal relationships are merely chemical interactions. Going to see your favorite comic while grieving will not fill-up the void left by the deceased -- no matter how funny the comic is. The same applies to rebound relationships, they just don't fill the hole in your life.
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Old 10-28-2011, 02:55 PM
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