[wdfifteen]

My father passed away a few days ago and the siblings and I have been dealing with the red tape required by the government. My sister has dealt with most of it, so I wasn't aware of how insanely things are done.
Dad ran out of assets a long time ago and his expenses have been paid by medicaid. He had a modest life insurance policy, about $4000 more than funeral expenses would normally be. Since the LI is counted as an asset when he went on medicaid, Ohio insisted that at that time it either be signed over to the state, or committed to an irrevocable internment contract - the whole thing - no halvsies. So, instead of being encouraged to save money with a modest funeral and return the remainder to the state, or the home that cared for him for so long, or some other good cause, we are required to spend the entire amount on the funeral. We are required to literally bury thousands of dollars. The funeral guy said if my father had moved to Florida or Arizona, as retired people often do, the funeral home that held the contract was under no obligation to forward the money for a funeral there. They often do, but there is no requirement for it.
My mother insisted on the whole traditional event, with a viewing and preacher and sad organ music etc. I suggested a service like my sister had for her husband, but mom would have none of it. I want a service like my brother in laws and yesterday I put that in writing.
I don't want to be embalmed, with some stranger violating my body in ways I would never allow if I were alive. I don't want to lay in a casket like a made-up doll for everyone to gawk at. I want to go out like my BIL. He was cremated, with a memorial service with a wide screen TV showing a slide show of photos of him when he was healthy and happy - the way we all want to remember him. We all left his memorial feeling uplifted, not dragged down.
My wife's brother had a riot of a funeral. His father had mild dementia, was pretty deaf so he talked real loud, and couldn't walk. His son Tommy took care of him, wheeled him around in the wheelchair etc. Right in the middle of the service he said (loudly), "Tommy! I gotta take a scheit!" Tommy said in a loud whisper, "No do don't you just have to fart." "I'm tellin' you Tommy I gotta scheit!" "No you don't dammit." Pretty soon it was obvious from the aroma that Tommy was wrong. Just before they closed the casket they wheeled the old guy up there and he starting crying, "There's my oldest boy layin' there. Never thought I'd ..... HEY! That's my watch! You ain't buryin' him with my watch. I give it to him for Christmas, paid $200 for it and I want it back!"
What a circus.