[WolfeMacleod]

Well, we're here in Cali rightnow, waiting for NAMM to start tomorrow. After the last few days of not eacting much aside from Dizzyland, we decided to head over to a place we spotted while riding the Monorail, not wanting to spend too much.

Wow.

Here'es the review I just wrote on Yelp. And Google. Any other places i can post this at? It should be a crime to screw food up this badly

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Captain Kidds.


I really wish it were possible to give a place zero stars, but unfortunately,, it's not. So I've opted for one.
After a long day of tooling around Dizzyland, my girl and I decided to eat here because it was close by

What.
A.
Mistake.

As another person said, we failed to notice the unhappy faces of the other customers. We didn't notice any unusual smell though, so we figured "ehh, we'll see"
Well, we saw alright. We saw food service coming out right next to the bathrooms. That gave me the chills.
To start, anything containing noodles, such as lasagne, was about the consistency of diarrhea. The mashed potatoes and gravy.. the gravy was bland, slightly chalky, and about the consistency of watered down preschool paste. But I'm sure the paste tastes better.
The baked chicken fell off the bone, but only because it was SO overcooked that it really had NO CHOICE because it was mushy. Not only was it bland and flavorless, but while it was dry, it also seemed moist at the same time. How to they do THAT? Soak it it liquid before serving to wet it down?
The "pulled pork" was more like a lump of steamed fat. I really didn't notice anything remotely "meat" at all. Just fat. Slathered in BBQ sauce.
The taco-meat filling...ground "whatever" it was was, I think, worse than Taco Bell. While not terrible, it was very under seasoned, and again, about the consistency of the contents of a diaper.
The lettuce on the salad bar was very wet and watery. the salad dressings were watered down, the corn tasted odd, and the consistency was somewhat rubbery.
I think, for me, the most edible thing may have been the burgers, but I only had one, because I don't know how long they'd been sitting there. Or maybe the Coke. You can't screw that up, really.
All in all, this place made me want to go find a big, sweaty "member" to suck, just to get the AWFUL taste out of my mouth. And I doubt even that would work.
I'm tempted to dispute the charges on my credit card, because what they're passing off as food, certainly isn't.
I can't believe someone could screw "food" up this badly. My ex wife couldn't cook. This place made me miss her food "butchery" quite a lot.

Never again.


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Actually, my ex wife was quite a good cook.. but for the review's sake...

Wow. I've never eaten at such a bad place. Makes the Chinese Buffets in Seattle look 4-star.