[T77911S]

we have been fostering a brother and sister for over a year now. the boy is 12 and the girl is almost 2, both, well all 4 of her kids, are from differnet dads.
the mothers rights were terminated for the the boy on friday but things went south for the girl.
a little background:
when the girls sperm doner left the mother, he supposedly beat her up (i saw the pics) and raped her. he knocked her up and never new it since he left the state.
well the mother told DDS he was the father back in august. so of course he wants her. also, we were told there was charges or a restraining order against him with the kids (she has an older daughter too) testimony about what happended, but under the so called "hom study" it was not found, which would have kept him from getting her.
we new there was a good chance he was going to get her, but EVERYONE was blind sided that the ruling on friday was he was to get her that day. my wife BEGGED him and his wife to give up another day for the boy (i think as much or more for my wife), which they did. the judged ruled that way because they live out of state (2 hours) and he does not have a drivers liscience, due to 2 DUI's that were pleaded down to lesser charges. the DUI's would have kept him from getting her too.
they came by friday night to visit and they came saturday to get her.
this has totally destroyed my wife and the boy.

the real kicker to the story is the boys mother (lisa) promised him she would try to keep him and his sister together. when it came down to court time, she told the judge she wanted her(the 2 yr old) to go to the "sperm doner" instead of staying with us and her brother. the reason for this was so she would not loose total rights to her daughter, which does her absolutley no good. she thinks the dad is going to let her see her daughter, which i can see will never happen, especially since the mom is rat bat crrazy. so one last chance to do something good for her last 2 kids and she blows it because she was only thinking of herself. this BTW has had as much effect on the boy, once again his mother has lied, as losing his sister.

we new there was a good chancce we would lose her since we have not heard that anything has been found on the dad. also, even if lisa had told the courts she wanted the girl to stay with us, we still may not have gotten her. we also know that if lisa had not told DDS about the dad, if he found out that he had a daughter several years down the road, we could lose her then, which would be even worse for the girl. we also feel that a thorough home study was not done since the records were not found and also that things happened so fast. no time for the brother to deal with this or for us to deal with it. and again, lisa betraying her kids.
this is not the first kid we have lost that we were close to adopting, which has made this even harder on my wife.

the real losers in this are the kids. we are really worried about the "enviroment" the girl will grow up in.

we will adopt the boy. his dad has a record and the grandparents dont want his son. (cant remember if they have a record too).
he is a good kid. unfortunately has some of his mothers bad influences that we have to work on. mainly responsibility for his actions (nothing is ever their fault) and school. he has missed a lot of school and is behind and does not see the need for it.