[GH85Carrera]

Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"

***
Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working."
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No...."

***
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole diedab."
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died'? Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "OK. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'"

***

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet.."
"How come," asked Lars?
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing."

Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Elbow Lake , Minnesota .
The policeman, who was good friend of Ole's, said, "Ole...What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You're naked."
"Yah, I know," said Ole. "You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Sven's for his birthday party. Dere vas about 28 of us. Der vas boys and girls."
"Is that right?", his policeman friend asked.
"Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Sven, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom!' So vee all go into the bedroom....den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' "Vel, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, Everybody go to town!' "
"Oh, my!", exclaimed the policeman.
"Yah, Yah. I guess I'm the first one here".

***
To those in North Dakota , Minnesota , and for that matter the rest of the country, including Canada , I must report the sad news that Ole was shot. He was up by the Canadian border on his 4-wheeler cutting some trees when some rangers looking for terrorists spotted him.
According to the news reports, the rangers shouted to him over a loudspeaker, "Who are you and what are you doing?"
Ole shouted back, "OLE..... BIN LOGGIN'!"