Quote:
Originally Posted by kaisen
You reached out the the community in your time of grief. Unfortunately, it was moved to PARF. Not the place for sensitivity in a time you needed it. On behalf of the fools and trolls, I'm sorry.
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The first thread on the topic stayed in PPOT, and people were supportive - as is almost always the case here. The *second* thread on the topic was inflammatory to begin with and comments on both "sides" quickly increased the temperature, hence my moving it to PARF. While I'm sure that there was very real sympathy for Mike and the families involved, taking that grief and lashing out with not even thinly veiled racial comments drew predictable (and mostly measured) comments questioning the story and tone.
Online communities are like an extended family, for some all digital, for others a mix of in-person and via-keyboard. And like every family I've seen, there is some degree of dysfunction. Since this is an "optional" family though, each individual must determine when the cost/benefit ratio of investing the time and effort to contribute becomes too high.
Having been here for over 10 years I've seen a lot of people come and go. And back in the day I took more arrows that most here have ever even seen. There were some truly nasty comments (that thread is long since deleted). I stuck around because I learned from the experience, and value the friendship of many on this board. To this day, despite what I consider to be intolerant and mean-spirited posts I see in PARF, I remain due to the enormous number of people here who I am happy to call a friend, despite widely different backgrounds and outlooks on life.
From time to time we have taken the temperature of the place and it seems that a majority like PARF to be more "free-wheeling." Bannings are rare, and not many threads are edited or closed. If I read every thread and were left to my own devices I frankly would delete probably 10% of the posts and ban about a dozen people (which would take care of the 10%). But it isn't my board - Wayne owns it and the community writ large determines how it plays out.
Mike has been pretty honest about some tough circumstances in his life, but in being open and shooting from the hip, he has also opened himself up to scrutiny. It is the nature of the beast - living a "public" digital life opens you up to some degree of comment. In general this community is pretty good about being 100% supportive when someone is in need. But it also calls things out as well - sometimes appropriately, sometimes inappropriately. I try to leave the former and catch the later, but I don't read everything and I also have my own biases at play. I remind people that the mods don't read every post, let along click on every thread, so the community needs to be the eyes and ears. If things are reported we do take a look, then try to use judgement on whether or not to step in. In the end no decision will please 100% of the audience.
If Mike decides to take a vacation I wish him the best. If he decides to stay, I wish him the same.