[Z-man]

Mike:
I do not mean to offend, but I have seen this before... over on Rennlist...for several years...from a poster called mpesik. Sound familiar?

Listen - I can understand that your divorce has wreaked havoc on your life, and for that, I am truly sorry. My sister went through a bitter divorce over 10 years ago, and she's still having issues... but I digress.

Here's an anology that has worked in my life, perhaps you can gain some assurance from it as well: when I was young, I lived in a certain town in NJ. Very nice town, and based on a local map of the town, I knew my way around my town. Later on in life, I moved to a new town. When I did so, I no longer could use my old map, and had to buy a new map in order to familiarize myself with my new town.

Throw away your old map, Mike. The past is the past, and the old framework of your life is gone. Move on. You are living your life in bitter regret that is all consuming. You are using the old framework -- the old map -- to try to live your new life. She is gone - and that phase of your life is over -- so why do you continue to let her torment you? YOU are essentially letting her continue to do this to you, and your behavior and attitude are evidence of this.

You have a new set of issues to deal with now, and you are letting issues from the past interfere with your ability to deal with these new issues. Stop being a victim, and MAN UP to your responsibilities as a father. Whinning and complaining won't get you the respect from your children or your ex-wife that you so desire.

Throw away the old map Mike - it is of no use for you now.

-Z-man.