[Pazz]

Its great to see somewhere i can finally share my experience on porsche conversions.
I read in the newspaper that porsche was finally making a SUV so i thought at last these guys have got their act together, I gotta have one.
I went to my local dealer and told him "gimme one of those porsch Caynne things" but unfortunately he didnt have one, (i guess they were all sold out or something). I was devastated. The salesman seeing my distress suggested that i pick a 911 from the lot and with a few minor modifications that any guy who knows the business end of a hammer and blow torch could easily handle i could make my very own porsche SUV. Great guy - great idea.
Looking around the lot it was really tough to pick a good one. the guy had hundreds and they all looked the same to me.
I finally settled on a bright yellow one and after a bit of horse trading and arm twisting we cut a deal BUT only when the salesman agreed to throw in a set of fuzzy dice and a chain steering wheel free.
I told him to wait to i got the car off the lot before he tried explaining that to his boss. HA.
So anyway I now became the proud owner of an original 1973 RS carrera. the saleman ( great guy) kept telling me was in cous cous or cous corse condition. whatever.
Call me Dumb, but i just cant understand why these porsch people keep naming there cars after food condiments, I thought cuos cous was like some Lebonese chick pea paste and caynne is a some kinda cajun chicken spice.
weird.
Anyway now to the conversion process. The first thing i needed to do was to change the engine, to get me some real horses. This carrera thing had a little old 2.7 Liter engine an i needed a little more power. i figured 3 liters should be about right, and i just happened to have a 3 liter engine that i salvaged from my wifes HUNDAI after she wrapped it around a cow.
The thing just fit straight in after i hacked a hole in the engine lid to get the radiator in.
i took the old 2.7 engine and hooked up to the water pump at my well, it did miricles for the water pressure and actually blew the lid off the toilet first time i flushed.
My next job was to get some real wheels on my new baby. I got me a set of 60 by 36 Big Foots which with a little help from Mr Hammer fitted snugly.
the only problem was the fenders. I got the blow torch out and cut off the front fenders half way up to get the perfect fit. I was about to do the same on the rear but dam thing ran outta gas.
No problem. Resourceful guy that i am i just got out the old sledge hammer and after 10 or 20 good wacks each side the wheels dont even get close to rubbing.
I must say my enthusiasm with the sledge hammer did scuff up the paintwork a bit, but i was lucky to have half a can of yellow Dulux left after painting the kitchen.
It's not an exact match but doesnt look too bad.
anyway porsche owners are a forgiving bunch, and i'm sure they'll be more interested in my really cool modifications, than worried about the odd dent and patchy paintwork.
Feel free to e-mail me if you want some pointers on how to do this to your car.