[DonDavis]

Do you have the wrong type of dog? I know you said you're not a dog person but what if you had a smaller, inside dog that didn't shed? Just think it through, maybe speak to the family. Find a family for your current dog, research smaller dogs for inside ( mini Schnauzer would be worth a look, or a Basenji ).

Wife gets her dog fix, patio gets reclaimed, kids may dig it too, you keep your wits and who knows, maybe you get a kick out of it as well.