[twobone]

I think why it has been tolerated is that he is a good grandfather and very generous when he is sober. When he gets drunk he is not angry either, just kind of pathetic.

My wife lost her mother (his 1st wife) to booze and tylenol and so I think she is concerned about alienating her father. My wonderful wife is a peace-maker, but she will draw the line when its needed.
We only see him in the summer and over xmas. They do appear to curb their drinking a. Bit when they babysit the kids.

Its just sad that he appears to drink himself into a stuppr everynight.
What is weird is how he can get up early the next morning, have a coffee and seems to be right as rain.

Thanks for all your great advice. We have a few months till xmas. I will reread this advice before the start asking about xmas plans.