[tevake]

Whew that is a tough call to get , bro. I'm sure that you posted here to tap the knowledge and life experience here.
My Dad passed about 20 years ago. and I still don't know quite what to share with you.
Perhaps you will find some comfort in being with your family.

Try to focus on some of the positive memories and good times you got to have with him. look for opportunities to help others in the family.

So sorry for your loss, hang in there.

Sending strength your way.
Richard