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vash,
I have been married for 28 years and I will tell you that marriages work for two reasons: mutual respect and acceptance.
Life is full of compromises and there is no way around that. We all have to compromise.
When I want to buy something significant or go someplace without my wife, I talk with her about it. It's not about who who is in charge. My wife is my partner and she wants the best for me just like I want the best for her.
If I want to buy something under $1000, I don't have to discuss it with her if I don't feel like it. The same goes for her. That $1000 isn't a hard number. I just threw it out there. We both know when a dollar amount is big enough to discuss.
I can go out with my friends any time I like. I just call to let her know what's I am doing. Sometimes, I get reminded that I made another commitment. Not very often, but it happens. Otherwise, I am told to have fun.
The bottom line is I don't treat my wife like a possession or as a servant. I treat her as an equal. My needs do not outweigh hers.
Scott
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