[T77911S]

if my wifes mom had made the abortion decision 45 years ago, she would not be here and i would not have the wonderfull daughter i have now.

support your sons decisions. being a man is not how big your shlong is or how many woman you sleep with, its how you deal with responsibitly. it sounds like he is on his way to being a man, help him with that.
i have seen more marrages struggle and more young families struggle due to non parent support, even to the point of the parents wanting nothing to due with grandkids.

i have always said, by the time kids are 8-10 years old, your done raising them. your chances of having influence over them is done. now it just a matter of raising them by how you act and support your kids. trust me. adopting a 12 year old boy and trying to break the influence of a dead beat mother is only done by example. i can talk and yell til iim blue in the face. it is only by how i deal with every day life that has any influeance.

taking the easy way out does not always make us stronger. doing things the hardest way does not make us smarter. dealing with the situation at hand in the proper way does.
life is not over just because of a kid.

i would have a paternity test done. if it is his, welcome the baby and the mother and her family into yours. you might be surprised at how it effects your son.
keep the negative comments and feelings to your wife and keep them behind closed doors.

make sure they both finish school, even if it means $$ support from you.