[Laneco]

I would suggest sitting them down SEPERATELY and have "the talk."

Not the who-dilly and va-jay-jay talk, the real talk. As you address each of them tell them to show you how much it costs to raise a child for the first 5 years, then the next 5 years. Then have them show you what THEIR 5 and 10 year plan is for accomplishing this BY THEMSELVES. No g-ma and g-pa help, no help from the other person, assume you have to do this BY YOURSELF no government support - what is your plan? There isn't one...

This is the reality. After you've confirmed with both of them seperately that they are adrift in their ideas and lack of understanding of what is involved with raising a child, then sit them down together and work out the 5 and 10 year plans.

Those plans must include expenses, both immediate and longer term, child care costs/duties, and career development. Short term solutions such as quitting school and working for a minimum wage job are stop gap measures, not PLANS. They must make plans to pay for, and care for, the baby's needs. Each of these two young people must figure out how they would do this autonomously - if an accident takes one of them, or your son is NOT the father, then the burden will fall on one person. Plan accordingly.

This is a major discussion with life changing actions in the balance. A reality gut-punch. I do not envy you, but I think this is very needed. Raising children is not for the timid, the meek, or the unprepared (even if that's how many of us started out)...

angela