[Outback Porsche]

Well.....

I had the snip about 4 years ago......and the mental scares still exist!

I didn't want to know about it at all when it happened, so I insist on being knocked out for the procedure. They called me up initially on April 1, look out I thought, they're gunna bodge it in some way ('April Fool'....yeah, haha).

Well I was prepped up on the gurney and next in line, sat in the corridor of the ward waiting to go in, and after about an hour of this they cancelled...can't recall the exact reason. The reschedule for the next week. Anxiety was already high, now it peaks for a week.

Get in there the next week, get prepped, didn't have to wait long, and they've got me in the surgical ward. They tell me then that they're not giving me a general afterall, they are just going to heavily sedate me, okay I say. Its mayhem, people everywhere, my tackle's on display to them all. Someone starts shaving, someone sticks a cannula in my arm, and someone else starts pumping some drug into it....and wait, no some fcuk starts cutting.

I hit the friggin roof! I'm not out yet you wanker....more drugs, more cutting...I'm still not out of it. Horrendous pain! Before I know what’s happening, I've got a 5hitload of padding stuffed around my Wang and someone is hitching me up in a jock strap. They wheel me out to recovery. I eventually pass out.

After I 'recover', they give me a sandwich and a cup of tea. Like that's gunna make things better? They let me go and I waddle out of the hospital, gingerly climb into the passenger seat of my car and get taken home and pampered by my lovely wife.

The next day it's time to assess the damage while prepping for a shower. I manage to get the jockstrap off and my Wang is hidden by clumps of surgical wadding. As I peel them back the pain is intense, I pass out. When I recover, I have another go at getting to the source of the agonising pain. I pass out again. I decide then to just get in the shower and see if it'll all fall off when it's wet. It does. I look down, and pass out again. I wake up again, this time I stay awake. Now I'm pissed! The buggers have given me a black diick but haven made it any bigger!

Over the next couple of days I recover, swelling dissipates, colour comes back (nothing good lasts). I find that on the odd occasion I'll take a step and the stiches will grab on my jocks. Wtf! Crippling pain, mid step....it's the ministry of funny walks all over again!

I put up with this periodic crippling pain with every odd step for a little over a week. The said the stiches will disappear in a week or so, BULL5HITE!

So one night I pour myself a steaming hot bath and get it. With the help of a pair of nail clippers and a pair of tweezers, those friggin stiches are gone!

Been good ever since, tads are duds. Highly recommend a vasectomy .