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What your wife thinks is perhaps a tad more important that what the PPOT bubbas and bubettes think...it is, strictly speaking, her inheritance.
All that said.
Continue with the grants, scholarships and student loans if that is the best way for her to afford college. While my wife and I were able to save for the kids education (my son was able to earn an Army ROTC scholarship to VMI) they both have skin in the game, always have. She works during the school year and during the summer. Jack works during the summer.
I always worked in college. If you budget your time wisely, undergraduate school is easy...and I went to college in the stone tablet days. I can't even fathom how much smoother college would have been with a laptop, the internet and a printer.
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1996 FJ80.
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