Ok fellas, need to vent for two seconds and then I will shut up. Ex is driving me nuts. I have tried everything to work with him and on the most part he's been really good, especially with the boys. But I don't know. Something's going on. I think he is really getting down that he is unemployed. He got laid off the week before me but has severance pay exactly the same as his pay when he was employed until the end of March. Financially he is good until then. But like I mentioned before, if he runs out of money, I don't know what to do but let him move back in. Today he was supposed to pick up the boys. He forgot when I specifically called him yesterday night to remind him to take my son to his lesson. He texts me today at 615 pm asking me if he was supposed to pick up the boys. Now mind you, their after-school care closes at 630 pm. He forgot to take my son to his lesson as well. Seriously, WTH? I could understand if he was working. At least I could somehow see that he could forget???? But he isn't working. My fear is that he is drinking again. I picked up the boys and everything is fine with them.
I want him to move back in because I can keep my eye on him. But it's a catch 22. What if this enables him to go back to drinking and stay unemployed for even longer? When I went to Alanon meetings (AA for the family members of an alcoholic), it is usually said that we are enablers. There is always this constant stress and worry over them. I am tired. I always feel like I am taking care of him... Even when he isn't my husband anymore. I stayed on the phone with him today for half an hour, trying to give him a pep talk and he texted me tonight at midnight asking why I didn't call him again. I was busy giving the boys a bath, feeding them, doing homework. We have 50/50 right now but sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to cut all ties. I don't want to do it... For both the boys and him but I am so tired. He always had me, but I never had him or anybody else to rely on.
Thanks for "listening". I have never wanted to take the boys away from him. He is their father. But it is exhausting for me. Sometimes he is more work and stress than my boys.
I am just tired.